Old Friends
by Ozfan
Summary: Xander and Willow... one of the best friendship (plus other stuff) relationships I've ever seen on TV. I wanted to celebrate that. I miss them. I have never written a W/X fic before and I find myself wanting to go down a romantic route with them, so if yo
1. One

Old Friends

by ozfan

One

_Time it was, and what a time it was, it was  
A time of innocence  
A time of confidences_

Strange memories. Standing in line to see Return of the Jedi together. Trying to teach each other how to throw a Frisbee. Catching chicken pox off each other. Getting in trouble for stealing gum from the drugstore (Willow's idea actually, not Xander's, looks like she had criminal impulses since she was 11 years old). The field trip to some farm back in 4th grade where Xander didn't want to sit next to Willow on the bus because he had a crush on Susie Lowell and it nearly broke her heart. Trying to make snowballs using ice from the freezer after the annual viewing of A Charlie Brown Christmas when they were 12. She remembers these things at the oddest times, and she smiles.

***

Willow sat on the arm of the sofa, going over the list of supplies for the house. They had all just finished up dinner and this was the time of day Willow welcomed most, a brief respite from group meetings, training, work, and worry. Xander had come over to help Buffy fix the overactive toilet upstairs and he came down the steps now, joining Willow in the living room.

"Hey, witchy woman, whatcha workin on?"

"The evergrowing list of groceries and supplies this house needs. It's my turn to go shopping this week. Spike even gave me a coupon for Wheatabix," she said, waving a piece of paper in the air. "What are you up to now?"

"I'm heading back to my apartment. The toilet upstairs will now cooperate with all you saucy vixens and your tendency to overflush."

"You're the man, Xan." He grinned at her, his eyes warm as he watched her.

"What? What is it?" Willow said, frowning over at him. Xander was either staring at her or staring at something directly above her head, and it was freaking her out.

Xander just smiled. "You look really pretty," he said softly. Her hair was down and it fell in soft waves around her face and she was dressed in a simple blue turtleneck and jeans. He said it matter-of-factly, one friend to another, quite innocent, but she still felt a strange, sudden jump in her pulse. _Okay, that was weird_. Then he wiggled his eyebrows lewdly and it broke the awkwardness. Willow hid a smile.

"You are staring at me like you want to eat me for dessert. Have you become a hyena again, Xander Harris?" she said sternly.

"Why, yes. Yes, I have. GGGRRR!" Suddenly Xander pounced on her, toppling her over onto the couch. Willow let out a squeal of shock, followed by giggles.

"Get off, you freak!" she shouted with a laugh.

Xander kissed her forehead and sat up. "I am the First Evil in the form of… a hyena!"

"Now, that would be interesting. An all-powerful hyena. Except you'd have to be an incorporeal hyena, which really isn't all that intimidating when you think about it."

"What are you doing?" Kennedy said, standing in the archway. She was frowning at the two of them, sitting side by side on the sofa.

"Discussing nonintimidating incorporeal hyenas, _duh," Xander said. Kennedy just stared back, expressionless. "Um, and you?" he added, after a long, awkward silence._

Kennedy's eyes narrowed.

"Looking for Willow, actually," she said, crossing her arms. Willow sighed, softly, only loud enough for Xander to hear. "I thought you were going to the store. We're low on supplies, remember?"

Xander glanced over at Willow and saw the tense set of her jaw. 

"I am," Willow said, sounding tired. "I was just making sure…"

"That I was coming with. We have to go over that private matter, remember?" Xander improvised, grabbing Willow's hand and pulling her up.

Kennedy did not look pleased. "What private matter?"

"Maybe you should look 'private' up in the dictionary sometime," Xander suggested, dragging Willow out the front door before Kennedy could respond. When they got outside, Willow covered her mouth and started sputtering laughter. 

"Thank you, Xander." Her eyes were bright with laughter as she looked up at her oldest friend. 

"It seemed like you needed to get out of there. Besides, I've known you about 1000 times longer than her, I get first dibs. Now, where shall we go?" he said, grabbing his keys out of his pocket and dangling them enticingly.

"How about New Orleans? I've never been to New Orleans," Willow sighed, leaning on the roof of Xander's car. 

Xander nodded thoughtfully. "In that case we really need to fill up on gas. Hop in, my lady. New Orleans awaits." They climbed in his car together and drove away.

***

"This sure doesn't look like New Orleans," Willow groused, pushing the shopping cart around the huge grocery store. Xander walked alongside her, his hands on the cart, looking up and down the aisles like a little kid.

"It might not be New Orleans, but look! Six-pack of Nestle's Crunch on sale." He grabbed them and threw them in the cart.

"We are not here for treats. We have a strict budget."

"This is on me, so shut up."

"But you don't stay at the house anymore, so why should you pay for groceries?" Willow said, frowning down at her list.

"Please. I'm still there all the time, I eat, I drink, therefore I pay. Plus I just got a raise."

"You did! That is so excellent, Xander!" She put her arm around him and squeezed. Xander smiled.

"Thanks. Of course, I had to sleep with the boss but it was just that one time and he was actually very gentle with me."

"Good to know. Ooh, Fruity Pebbles! Can I? Can I?"

Xander nodded. "Sure, knock yourself out. Those have been your favorite since forever."

"I never outgrow the classics," Willow said. They made their way through the aisles, chatting, and Willow felt like a heavy load had been lifted off her chest. Xander seemed so relaxed. He had said earlier that he and Anya had made their peace, and now he was back living at his own place, having some semblance of a life apart from Apocalypse Prep. She envied him that. She lately felt everything closing in on her. School was her only escape these days, that and late night tea chats with Buffy, which had become a nice tradition. Everything was all too closely tied together, everything pushing at her. On top of all that, Kennedy, she was starting to realize sadly, was a big mistake. They had little in common, and the more Willow got to know her the more Willow realized she had gotten involved for all the wrong reasons. Still, she knew that there were much larger issues to contend with so she did not complain to anyone. Besides, here, just being with Xander doing an everyday chore, made her forget the bad stuff for a while.

"Talk to me, Will. You look sad," Xander said as they stood in the checkout line.

"Actually, quite the opposite. This is really nice. Nice and normal. It's nice to get away with you, even if it isn't New Orleans." 

"Oh, stop," he said, but she could tell he was pleased by the smile plastered on his face. Willow held on to his arm and just rested her head against the strength of his shoulder for a minute, looking around. The hum of activity around them, the dusk outside the window, even the kid crying in the next aisle over… it felt good, this normalcy, these boring moments so many people took for granted. She felt strangely blessed to be here, to be given the chance to be a part of this world again, with these people who were so good at forgiving. _Tara__, things are going well. I wish you could be here with us, just shopping for groceries._

The elderly woman behind the register was smiling at her.

"You two make a cute couple," she said kindly. "It's nice to see."

Willow frowned and stepped away from Xander.

"We're not a couple," they said in unison.

The woman just shrugged and kept smiling. "Well, whatever you are, it's still nice to see."

Xander looked down at Willow, and Willow looked back. Their eyes met and held. They smiled at each other, as if sharing a secret. _We've been everything to each other, __Willow__ realized. We'll always have each other. Always._

Xander nodded, as if hearing her thoughts. Together they packed up the groceries and headed home.


	2. Two

Two

_Can you imagine us years from today  
Sharing a park bench quietly?  
How terribly strange to be seventy... _

Back when they were freshman in high school, the class spent a day volunteering at a retirement home. Xander can still remember the dread he felt, the smell of death, the sad, lonely people that looked up at him with dull eyes, and the sudden need to get outside for fresh air. Willow had tagged along. He remembers her grabbing his arm and gesturing over to an elderly man and woman sitting on a bench outside. They were enjoying the warm sun on their faces, and they were chatting, and they looked happy.

"That'll be us, you know. Hanging out in the old age home together," she whispered.

"Hell yeah. We'll have wheelchair races down the hall? Deal?"

"Deal."

They shook on it.

***

The knocking was insistent. Xander peered through the peephole, then unlocked the door. Willow stood there, a sad Willow, staring up at him with a pained expression.

"What's wrong, Will?"

"I broke up with Kennedy. There was a scene. I had to get out of that house, I had to. My head is going to explode." Tears were running down Willow's face.

"Get your butt in here and calm down," he said, taking her by the arms and marching her into the living room. 

"I don't know what I was thinking…" she said, plopping down on the sofa, her head in her hands.

"It's okay, you can always make up," Xander said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"No, no. I mean, getting involved with her in the first place. I'm such an idiot. I thought I just needed something… I thought it would help, I thought I was lonely, but now all I want is to be left alone."

Xander handed her a box of tissue. "Here. You've got raccoon eyes."

Willow let out an unexpected laugh and wiped her runny mascara off her cheek. "Don't be funny. Let me wallow in misery, okay?"

"Okay."

Willow sat back, staring sadly into space. "I think we all need to take a break from relationships. I mean, permanently. We all really suck at this. It always ends badly. What the hell is wrong with us?"

Xander put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back, his head resting on the cushions of the sofa. "Remember that one time in high school when the three of us sat there after that whole evil Malcolm internet thing and realized we were all doomed to never having nice, healthy, normal relationships? And it was the kind of funny that was not?"

Willow sighed heavily. "Yeah."

After waiting for Xander to continue with his story, Willow finally spoke up. "And?"

"Oh, and nothing. I was just remembering it."

"That is NOT a comforting story. You're supposed to finish with, well, we were wrong, and we will live happily ever after, and it's going to be okay, and stupid crap like that." Willow rubbed her temples.

"Sorry, I suck at that. Here, sit on the floor." Willow slid off the sofa grumpily and sat in front of Xander. 

"Did you know that construction managers give the best shoulder rubs known to humankind?"

"I think I did read that somewhere…" Willow said, sighing in contentment as Xander kneaded the tension away from her tight shoulders. "Oh my God, that feels incredible." Her head dropped forward like she was drugged.

"If you want, you can stay here tonight," Xander offered. "I've had the spare bedroom fumigated since Spike graced me with his presence, and we can pig out on Chinese food and rent movies."

Willow tilted her head back and stared up at him. "Really? You want to do that?"

"I've never stopped wanting to do that with you," he said. His palms were resting on her either side of her face. Suddenly his thumb itched to feel her lower lip. It almost did, almost snuck out and caressed it. _Okay, that was weird_. 

Then Willow was standing up, her smile bright. "I'm craving beef lo mein and early Harrison Ford flicks. Let's go." She headed toward the door. Xander swallowed and had to straighten strange thoughts out of his head before he followed.


	3. Three

Three

_Old Friends  
Narrowly brushes the same years  
Silently sharing the same fear _

He sits on the edge of the bed in the dark, just watching her. She wakes with a start. 

_What is it?_

_I'm afraid. Our luck is running out. We won't survive this time._

_I know. I'm afraid too. I'm so afraid._

He lays by her on the bed. He buries his face in the side of her neck and her arm sneaks around his bare chest. _I never stopped loving you. _He kisses the hollow of her throat where her pulse beats erratically. His hand is heavy on her stomach and she feels a hot, low, ache between her legs.

_Xander_, she whispers.

Willow wakes with a start.

***

"I think that was the best sleep I've had in months," Willow announced, joining Xander in the kitchen. He was making waffles and was standing there in just pajama bottoms. He had lent Willow his pajama top and she looked awfully cute in it, standing there, all long, bare, lean legs and plaid cotton.

Xander realized his thoughts were going to that very strange place again, and he smiled a little nervously. "Nice and quiet and uncrowded here at Casa Harris. Want coffee?"

"A whole bunch of hell yeah. Please."

"Still take 4 heaping teaspoons of sugar?"

"Actually, I'm down to three. Go me." Willow took the proffered mug from Xander's outstretched hand and took a sip. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Hey, for a bachelor you make a damn fine cup of coffee."

"Yeah, well for someone who is just a friend and gay to boot you look extremely sexy in my pajama top. And I didn't just say that out loud. Oh boy. Um… do a tabula rasa, Will, quick, before I choke on my own foot."

Willow was frowning at him, bewildered. She took a step closer.

"Willow," he said, softly, trying to apologize.

Then she was on him, arms around those strong shoulders, kissing him. And then he was lifting her up, sitting her on the counter, kissing her so hard he was afraid her neck would break. Except she was kissing him back, just as strongly, and her legs were winding around his waist, pulling him into her pliant body. He groaned, his hands in her hair, his mouth tasting hers, drowning in the sensation of how good this felt.

She tasted so good, felt so good, better than the stolen kisses in her room or in the factory from years ago, this was everything he assumed he would never have, and now that he had it he never wanted it to end. She was running her fingers down his bare back, making him shiver.

"What is happening?" he breathed into her mouth.

"Don't know, don't care, don't stop," she mumbled, her fingers latching onto the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

"You feel so good," he said, tasting the cool skin of her neck.

"Oh, God, the waffles," Willow said. "Xander, the waffles…"

Xander gasped and woke up, sitting bolt upright in his bed. Willow was standing in the doorway of his bedroom, a tentative smile on her face.

"Xander, I said I made waffles… you want some or not? You overslept."

Xander took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. 

"Jesus. That was hands down the strangest dream I think I ever had." He sat there, trying to get a grip on reality. The non-kissing reality. He took another deep breath and tried to get his body to calm down.

"I had a strange dream too! What was yours about?" Willow said, then stopped. Her smile faded, and she looked as uncomfortable as he felt. 

"You know, I can't even remember now," he said, finding it hard to meet her eyes. "How bout yours?"

Willow looked down at her feet. "Nothing that interesting, actually," she said. "I better go, uh, get those waffles."

***

"We don't have to go back there today," Xander said after breakfast and a long, cold shower he took while Willow read a magazine. "It's Saturday. Don't we get weekends off from our fight against the ultimate evil?"

"It's okay, Xander. I feel much better now." She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Thanks."

"Anytime."

"Xander… in the dream I had, you were in it. And you said we wouldn't survive this time. And I said I knew."

"Hey, leave foreboding prophecy dreams to Buffy, will you?" he said, trying to make her smile. She just looked sadly at him.

"When the next showdown comes, I'm going to need to use everything I have. I might need your help."

"Of course, Will."

"It could get ugly."

"Are we talking veins and black eyes again? Because personally I thought that was kind of hot."

"Don't joke," she said, even though she was hiding a smile. "I want us to live. I mean, everyone in the world, everyone in Sunnydale... but especially _us_, you know? I'm not ready for it to be over. I used to want it to be over, so I could be with Tara again. And I feel so bad but I'm not ready…"

"Stop now before I bind and gag you," Xander cut her off. He pulled her up from the table. "We're going to go over to Buffys. You will be useful, and I will stand around until something needs fixing and perhaps mock Andrew a little. And then we will eat ice cream. And all will be right with the world."

Willow's frown of worry had disappeared. She shook her head in wonder. "You better stop being so awesome or I'm going to fall in love with you again," Willow said.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Puh-lease, like you ever stopped. Come on." He winked at her and took her hand as they left the apartment.


	4. Four

Four

_Long ago it must be  
I have a photograph  
Preserve your memories  
They're all that's left you _

"Cleaning? Isn't there something more conducive to fighting the good fight? Research? Casting spells? Operating heavy equipment?"

Buffy crossed her arms and looked at him steadily. "I need to clear room. It's way too crowded around here. If you don't want to help…"

Xander held up his hands. "I'm helping! I'm helping."

"What would I do without you?" she grinned, handing him a heavy box of books.

"Make Spike do this?"

"Oh, he's already stockpiling stuff in the basement," she replied, pushing her hair behind her ear. Xander looked around Buffy's relatively bare room. It had a utilitarian air about it now, sparse and streamlined. The room of a grown-up, he thought, then frowned when he saw a picture frame on the bed next to a box. He put the box down, picked up the picture frame, and stared. It was that picture of the three of them, Buffy, Xander, and Willow, from when they were in high school. Young and smiling, so full of hope. His eyes narrowed.

"You are going to pack this away?" he fumed, turning to face Buffy. "Are you insane? You can't get rid of everything, Buffy. What the hell has happened to you?"

Buffy stopped packing away extra shoes and clothes and walked over to Xander.

"This," she said, plucking the frame out of her hands, "is not getting packed away. I was just dusting it. That and Mr. Gordo will forever stay on my night stand."

"Oh. Well, then." Xander tried his charming smile and when Buffy just frowned some more he sighed.

"Sorry, Buffy. I guess I've been feeling a little nostalgic lately and thought maybe I was the only one. I was scared you were trying to pack our past away." He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the photo. Buffy sat down next to him.

"Xander, you and Willow are my best friends. You always will be. I know I don't show it that much anymore, but that will never change on my end. Never." Her voice was soft and steady.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Even when you two don't invite me to your sleepovers," Buffy grinned.

"That was so very impromptu. Speaking of, how is Kennedy, um, dealing?"

"Pain in the ass, par for the course. She made herself scarce. Willow seems a lot happier today, at any rate. That's all I care about." Buffy stood up and stretched. "I'm gonna go take some of this stuff downstairs. Don't go rooting through my underwear drawer while I'm gone."

"Dream on, sister," he called after her, then decided to have a peek anyway. He had a reputation to uphold, after all. He stood up, crossed to the dresser, and opened the top drawer. 

"That is wrong on so many levels," Willow said, standing in the doorway. 

"It's the First! I'm under the power of the First. It made me do it. And now, I must look at your underwear too," he said, grabbing her and pulling at her long skirt. Dawn came out of the bathroom and saw them wrestling in the doorway of Buffy's room.

"Everything under control here?" she asked pleasantly.

"Yes, Xander just wants to look at my underwear."

"Cool." Dawn continued on her way down the hall and Xander let Willow go.

"It's not like you haven't seen my underwear before, Xander," Willow said, straightening her skirt, breathless from laughter.

"Yeah, but that was when you were eight, and those were Underoos," he said, grabbing the box of books. "So not sexy."

"I'm not exactly the epitome of sexy now either, Xander," she said, helping him carry the box out of the room.

"Sure, you're not the flaunt it type… except when you're a cleavage-wielding evil vampire of course… but if you don't think you've got sex appeal you're crazy." They paused in the hallway and looked at each other over the top of the box. Her eyes, always so expressive, revealed hundreds of emotions in the space of a minute. Xander realized he was holding his breath.

"If you two could quit making googly eyes at each other I need to get another box," Spike's voice interrupted them. They were blocking the doorway to the room.

"We weren't making googly eyes," Willow protested. Spike raised his eyebrows, then grinned.

"Whatever you say, Red," he sighed, pushing past them into the room.

Xander really, really hated when Spike got all insightful.

"He's still nuts, I see," Willow said, trying to interject some humor into the tense silence that ensued.

"Yeah."

"He is, isn't he?" she asked softly, frowning at him, waiting to be reassured. Xander let out a long breath.

"Will... I think we need to talk."

"No, no we don't," she interrupted, quickly, her voice nervous. "Let's just get this box downstairs, my arms are about to fall off."

"Will..."

"Please, Xander, let's just do this. No talking, not after things with Kennedy. Not today, okay?" Her eyes, he saw, were full of fear. He smiled then.

"I forgot. Our agenda is too full today. There's packing, there's ice cream planned. We don't want to extend ourselves."

Her expression changed to one of relief. Together they carried the heavy load downstairs.


End file.
